In Loves Arms双语散文
“I’m going to marry you one day.” Beth said to her long time crush Jake. She wore her favorite blue teddy bear shirt. Her four-year-old blue eyes shined in the sun.
“No you’re not, you’re a girl.” Jake said.
The California afternoon wind blew his light brown hair. Jumping off the monkey bars he laughed back to class.
Sitting alone and confused she didn’t know what to do. Beth sat high on the monkey bars crying. How can her future husband just leave like that?
She was going to get him, but how? “I will not let him get away! I won’t! I won’t!”
15 years later:
“I love you, too, Jake.” Hanging up the phone she caught her mom smiling. “What?”
“When is he coming in from France? He’s been there for awhile.” She sat down on her black leather couch. The house was made up of different Indian stuff. On the walls were different dream catchers. Her mother was a full blood Cherokee Indian. She passed away when Beth was eight.
“He has a lot of schooling to do right now. Maybe this Saturday.”
Fixing her short overalls she thought of Jake. Who would have thought they were going to date when she turned five?
“Is he still living in Colorado?” Her mother Kay wore a white tank top with tan pants. And long blonde hair with pretty blue eyes. She was the most beautiful woman on Earth. And Beth is looking like her by the minute.
“Yeah, I hate having a long distance relationship.” She plopped on a leather chair.
“It’s ok baby, you know he loves you more than anything in this world. Love will keep you together.”
Beth could not help but smile. Her mother is and will always be her best friend.
Jake sat in his hotel the school rented for him. School of law. He loved going overseas for everything. But he missed being with Beth. That hurt him the most.
Spending the lonely nights in the hotel made him think of how much it would hurt to spend the rest of his life without her in it.
Getting up off his bed he went into the bathroom. Watching his reflection in the mirror, all he could think about was Beth. He would leave Thursday, and get there Friday night.
Turning off the light he jumped into the cold bed. On a coffee table near his bed rested a frame with them in it. It was taken at a beach about two years ago. It was the best time of their lives.
It was Thursday morning and Beth waited for Jake’s morning phone call. He would call at eight — it was ten.
Beth got out of bed and got her favorite blue tank top. She took off her shirt and screamed at the top of her lungs.
“What? What?” Her mother came rushing into her room. Staring at her naked daughter she saw the lump of her breast. “Does it hurt?”
Beth could only say “No.” Looking at the lump, she cried in pain.
“Let’s get you to the doctor.”
“Ok, let me get dressed.”
Shutting the door behind her, the room became silent. Shaking she put on her shirt, and ran out into the living room.
“Mom, where are my blue shorts?”
“In the dresser, second drawer.”
Finishing getting dressed she hopped into her car. Her red mustang drove like a baby.
They waited for the doctor to come in. Beth could not begin to think she had cancer. As her mind drifted off her cell phone rang.
“Hello?” Her heart skipped a beat, hoping it was Jake.
“Hey, how are you?” He asked out of breath.
“Could be better. Why didn’t you call me this morning?”
“Sorry, school got ahold of me today.”
“Why are you out of breath?” Looking stunned she stared at her mother.
“I’m so sorry, he’ll call back.” Her mother gave Beth a hug.
The doctor came in, and greeted his self. “Hello. I’m Kevin Baker.” He smiled while examining her breast.
A few minutes went by while they waited for an answer. “Yeah, it’s cancer, it looks like it’s been there for a while.”
Jake sat in the waiting room, unsure about going in or not. He just waited, five minutes passed as he walked towards a CNA. “Hi. My girl friend is seeing a doctor right now, can I have the room number?”
She checked her files. “What’s her name?”
“Beth Fowley.” Jake looked around the waiting room.
“Jake!” Beth said surprised. She gave him a hug. He held her tightly, never wanting to let go of his angel. “I missed you so very much. I left last night; I could not stand being without you again.” He kissed her lips.
“I missed you, too.” Beth answered back.
“Let’s go home.” Kay hugged Jake.
Once they got home Jake grabbed her by the hand and sat her down.
“Beth, I loved you all my life. Ever since I saw you on the monkey bars, saying you were going to marry me. I knew I loved you. I can’t spend another lonely night at home without you being there. You make my life complete. Will you marry me, Beth?”
Tears of pain flooded her blue eyes. “I can’t marry you.” She shook her head, “I just can’t.”
Getting up, her mother tried stopping her. But Beth closed the door behind her. The door that she hid behind, hoping one day she could wake up, and the cancer could be gone. And Jake can have a wonderful life with her. Forever. How can he love someone that is going to die from cancer?
A week passed, message after message, Beth would not answer. Her mother would answer the phone every time he called. Jake had no idea what was going on. He needed to talk to Beth right away, and holding his phone calls was not going to help one bit. It couldn’t help the canyon deep whole in his heart that was full of pain.
He had to see her, whether she liked it or not. He had to tell her he didn’t care what happened to her, he still wanted to be with her. Getting dressed in his blue jean shorts, and his favorite white shirt she loved to see him in. He got into his car.
Reaching her door he looked in the driveway, her mother’s car was not there. Now she would have to face him, and not hide behind her mother. He knocked.
“Coming.” Beth answered, she opened the door. She wore a red robe with her name on it. She got from her grandma a few years ago.
“Please let me in, we need to talk.”
She could not be rude. They needed to talk alright, about how he was going to lose his only love to cancer. How was he going to take that? She opened the door wider, and he slowly walked in.
“I hate how you can’t talk to me. I hate that we can’t be together. Don’t you understand I love you?” He ran his hand through his brown hair frustrated. “You can tell me anything you need to. I’m here for you today, tomorrow, and forever. And you know this. Now what is wrong?”
He cradled her on the leather couch. All her fears, and pain went away for that moment. Nothing seemed to matter, but him and her, together, forever. A silent tear ran down her right cheek and landed on Jake’s shoulder.
“I love you, that’s why I have to let you go.” She wiped her tear. Jake hated to see her so upset; she was usually a strong willed person. Her coming down like this was not usual, and it freaked him out.
“Let me go? Come on, what’s wrong?” Jake held her tighter, giving her a light kiss on her cheek.
“I have breast cancer. I found out a few weeks ago. I don’t want to marry you, and have you get hurt…”
He stopped her words with the sweetest kiss man could make. All her doubts and fears slowly drifted away like the wind. Everything fell into place; they found the love they thought they had missed.
They will forever be in love’s arms.
爱的港湾--总有一天我会嫁给你
贝丝对她爱慕已久的杰克说:“总有一天我会嫁给你。”她穿着最喜欢的带玩具熊的蓝色衬衣。四岁的她,蓝色的眼睛在阳光下闪闪发亮。
杰克说:“不,不行,你还是一个小女孩呢。”
加利福尼亚午后的微风吹拂着他浅棕色的头发。他从单杠上跳下来,一路笑着跑回了教室。
贝丝独自坐在那里,满脸迷惑,不知所措。她坐在高高的单杠上哭起来。她未来的丈夫怎么就这样走开了呢?
她一定要得到他,但该怎么做呢?“我不会让他离开我!不会!绝不会!”
15年后
“我也爱你,杰克。”挂断电话之后,她发现母亲在笑。“怎么了?”
母亲坐在黑皮沙发上说道:“他什么时候从法国回来啊?他在那里待了有一阵子了。”整栋房子都是印度风格的设计,墙上挂满了各种不同的捕梦网。母亲的母亲是纯正的切罗基印第安血统。在贝丝八岁时她就去世了。
“他现在学业很繁重,可能要到这周六才行。”
整理短裤的时候,她突然想起了杰克。在她还是个五岁孩子时,谁会想到他们会约会呢?
“他还在科罗拉多吗?”她母亲凯穿着白色的背心和褐色的短裤。她有着长长的金发和漂亮的蓝眼睛。她是这个世界上最美丽的女人。贝丝长得越来越像她了。
“是的,我真讨厌这种天各一方的感觉。”她一屁股坐在皮椅上。
“不要担心,宝贝,你应该明白他爱你胜过世界上的其他任何东西。爱会使你们在一起的。”
贝丝禁不住笑了起来。母亲现在是而且永远都会是她最好的朋友。
杰克坐在学校为他租的旅馆里。他读的是法学院。他愿意为了任何事情出国。但他又非常想念贝丝。这令他非常痛苦。
在旅馆度过一个个孤单的夜晚,使他体会到生活中没有了她将是多么痛苦。
他从床上爬起来,走进浴室。看着镜子里的自己,脑子里想的却都是贝丝。他周四就要出发,周五晚上就能够到达。
他关了灯,爬上冰冷的床。在床边的咖啡桌上有一张他们两人的照片。那是两年前他们在海边拍的。那是他们生命中最美好的一段时光。
周四早上,贝丝正在等杰克的电话。他通常会在八点打过来,但现在已经十点了。
贝丝下了床,拿出自己最喜欢的那件蓝色衬衣。她脱下睡衣,突然尖叫起来。
她母亲冲进房间问道:“怎么了?怎么了?”看到女儿裸着身子,她注意到了她胸部的肿块。“疼吗?”
贝丝只是说“不”,她盯着那个肿块,痛哭起来。
“走,我们去看医生。”
“好吧,我穿上衣服。”
她关上了门,屋内一片寂静。她颤抖着穿上了衬衣,突然跑回了客厅。
“妈妈,我的蓝短裤呢?”
“在衣柜里,第二个抽屉。”
穿好衣服,她跳进汽车。她的红色野马脱缰而出。
在等待医生的时候,贝丝禁不住怀疑自己得了癌症。正当她的思绪游离的时候,手机响了。
“你好?”她的心跳加速,希望是杰克的电话。
“嘿,你好吗?”他上气不接下气地问道。
“还不错。你今天早上怎么没给我打电话?”
“对不起,今天学校事情比较多。”
“你怎么气喘吁吁的啊?”她突然感到有点头晕,看了母亲一眼。
母亲拥抱着贝丝说:“真是可惜,不过他还会打过来的。”
这时,医生进来并做了自我介绍:“您好,我是凯文·贝克。”在检查她胸部的.时候,他一直保持微笑。
几分钟过去了,她们等到了结果。“是的,是癌症。而且好像已经有一段时间了。”
杰克坐在候诊室,不知道是否该进去。他一直在那里等着,五分钟之后,他走过去问一位助理护士:“你好,我女朋友在里面做检查。你能告诉我她的房间号吗?”
她看了一下记录,问道:“她叫什么名字?”
杰克环顾了一下候诊室,答道:“贝丝·福尔利。”
“杰克!”贝丝吃惊地喊道。她跑过去抱住他。他将她紧紧地拥在怀里,好像永远不想让他的天使飞走。“我太想你了,我昨天晚上就出发了。我再也无法忍受没有你的日子了。”他亲吻了她的双唇。
贝丝回答道:“我也想你。”
凯拥抱了一下杰克说:“我们回家吧。”
他们一回到家,杰克就抓着她的手,让她坐下来。
“贝丝,我爱你,一辈子。自从我在单杠上看到你的那天,你对我说要嫁给我开始,我就知道我爱上了你。没有你在我身边,我无法忍受独自度过哪怕一个夜晚。你使我的生命变得完整。贝丝,嫁给我,好吗?”
痛苦的眼泪涌出她蓝色的眼睛,她摇着头说:“我不能嫁给你,不能。”
母亲从床上起来,想去阻止她。但是贝丝关上了门。她躲在门后,希望有一天当她醒来后,癌症能够消失。她能和杰克共同享受幸福的生活,直到永远。但是,他怎么可能爱一个即将死于癌症的人呢?
一周过去了,一条条的信息,贝丝都没有回复。每次杰克打来电话都是母亲去接。杰克不知道怎么回事。他需要马上和贝丝谈谈,打电话已经解决不了任何问题。这无法填平他内心身处痛苦的峡谷。
他必须亲自见她,不论她喜欢与否。他要告诉她自己不在乎发生在她身上的任何事情。他仍然希望能与她在一起。他穿上了蓝色牛仔短裤,还有那件他最爱的白衬衣,她最喜欢看他穿这件衣服。然后,他上了车。
来到她的家门,他看了一下车道。她母亲的车不在。这次她必须要面对他,没法躲在母亲身后了。他敲了敲门。
“来啦,”贝丝说着,打开了门。她穿着一件红色的睡袍,上面绣着自己的名字。那是几年前,她祖母送给她的。
“请让我进去,我们需要谈谈。”
她不能粗鲁无礼。他们确实需要好好谈谈,谈谈他将如何看着自己惟一的爱人被癌症夺走。让他如何接受?她把门开大些,他慢慢走了进来。
“我不知道你为什么不和我谈。我不知道为什么我们不能在一起。难道你不知道我有多爱你吗?”他失落地把手插进棕色的头发里,继续说道:“你可以告诉我任何你要说的事情。我今天在这里,明天,永远都在这里。你是知道的。但是,现在出了什么问题?”
他轻轻地抱着她坐在沙发上。那一刻,她所有的恐惧、痛苦都消失了。世界上任何事情都无所谓,只要他们能够永远在一起。一行眼泪悄悄地从她的右脸颊上滴落,落在杰克的肩上。
她擦干泪水,说道:“我爱你,但这正是我让你离开我的原因。”杰克不愿意看到她如此消沉。她是一个意志坚强的人。她从未像现在这样失落,这使他产生了一种不祥的感觉。
“让我离开?天哪,到底为什么?”杰克更紧地拥着她,在她的脸颊上轻轻地吻了一下。
“我得了乳癌,我也是在几周前才知道。我不想嫁给你,因为我不想让你痛苦……”
他用男人最甜蜜的热吻打断了她的话。她所有的疑虑和恐惧像风一样慢慢散去。所有的一切都恢复了正常,他们又找回了曾经以为已经失去的爱情。
他们将永远生活在爱的港湾。
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