趣谈男女有别
FUTURE 未来
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
女人直到找到丈夫前都在担心未来;男人直到找到妻子前从不担心未来。
EATING OUT 在外面吃饭
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
买单的时候，阿麦，阿克、阿力和阿汤每人都甩出20块钱，虽然其实一共只吃了32块5。没人有更小的票子了，也没人愿意承认他们其实想把票子破开。女人买单时，每人掏出个计算器。
MONEY 钱
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
用得着的东西，要是值1块钱却卖2块，男人也会买;用不着的东西，要是值2块钱却只卖1块，女人也会买。
BATHROOMS 浴室
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
男人浴室里五件宝：牙刷，刮胡膏，剃须刀，一块肥皂，一块毛巾。一般的女人浴室里平均有337样东西，其中的大多数，男人不知道那是干啥用的。
ARGUMENTS 争论
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
任何争论都是由女人来说最后一句话。男人在此之后说的任何话……都是开始新的争吵。
CATS 猫
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
女人喜欢猫。男人说他们也喜欢，但当女人看不到时，男人踢猫。
SUCCESS 成功
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
成功的男人是能挣比他太太花的更多的钱;成功的女人是能找得到这么个给他钱花的男人。
MARRIAGE 婚姻
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change! And she does.
女人嫁给一个男人，希望他能改变，可他不;男人娶了一个女人，希望她永远不变，可她变了。
脑筋急转弯
Questions:
1. Why are giraffes the cheapest to feed?为什么养长颈鹿最不花钱?
2. Why are dogs afraid to sunbathe?狗为什么害怕日光浴?
3. Why is the pig always eating?猪为什么没完没了地吃?
4、Why are politicians no longer concerned with snowball fights?政客们为什么不再关注打雪仗了?
5、Why don't women get bald as soon as men?为什么总是男人比女人先秃头?
6、What can pierce one's ears without a hole?什么东西不用打洞就可以在耳朵上穿孔?
7. What's the longest word in the world?世界上最长的单词是什么?
8. Why does time fly?时间为何飞逝?
9. Where can a dog get another tail?狗去哪里可以再弄到一条尾巴?
Keys:
1. They make a little food go a long way.因为它们脖子长，一点点食物都要走很长的路才能咽下去。
2. They don't want to be hot-dog.因为它们不想成为热狗。
3. He's making a hog of himself.它想成为一只肉猪。
4、The cold war is over.冷战结束了。
5、Because women wear hire longer.因为女人头发留得长。
6、Noice.噪音。
7. Smiles. Because there's a mile between the letter 's'.微笑。因为两个字母S中间隔了一里。
8. To get away from all those who are trying to kill it.为的是甩掉所有要谋杀它的人。
9. At a retail store.在零售商店。